Why can't I sing along with some feeling or some meaning?

hi,

Its been a long time since I wrote.but it's all right, it's better than writing and talking nonsense. a few months later, I went into my blog and looked at how much nonsense I was and I was a child.although it hasn't been that long, maybe I can still be a baby running around the house with strawberry ice cream in my hand (:but I can say that there were moments when I was ashamed to read myself, but also fleeting moments when I was proud.why did some of it shock me with shame when it came out of the same person?

I've spent 24 years in this life.I'm usually someone who tries to understand myself.I wanted to absorb and learn everything around me.I think that's my best trait.of course, I have not always progressed successfully in this process, trying to understand the world and myself.in fact,failed methods are more involved in my self-knowledge process.

if a person wants to be the creator of what she/he has created,when creating a new idea,creating something new,whatever he/she has created, he/she must contain the essence of the person and address every detail to the creator.in order for a person to be able to do this, he/she must observe his/her surroundings well and start creating things by passing them through the heart filter.but here it should be noted that when observing,the ability to use your own senses.one hundred percent of your own senses.yeah,I used my own senses to hear,see,taste, touch, and feel, and I was influenced by other ideas.that's why I couldn't create it.

creating is tasting everything and putting something else in the middle. there is a place for inspiration when creating but never copying.here's the answer to the question I asked in the first place.when I was reading myself, not recognising and surprised, I was ashamed that I was actually reading someone else, not myself.fortunately, I figured it out.it's hard to focus on yourself, but it's not easy to create.it requires much effort.

I live in a world that(see ,I'm talking about my world here, because the world in which everyone lives is their own)collecting attention is the greatest virtue and success I can earn in life.so my family, my friends, now have to be less involved in the rest of my life.or I can't clear my head,I can't find myself.how many people are around you doesn't stop you, but if you're still a bedouin like me who hasn't found yourself, you may have to close the channels of human for a long time.to be able to say 'this is who I am' hear no one,not knowing, just learning.

I can understand monks,priests,dervishes in seclusion more.they've come to a place.they noticed this illusion in the outside world and actually said that the fullness of the abdomen is not the aromas that flow on our tongue,but that the soul is on its way to find calmness.

there is such an illusion,dear reader, that it is very scary.but in this chaos, I found out why I came to the earth.I just know my path is longer from now on.

Tamino said in indigo night:,

"I, I have seen the world's most beautiful places,
Still I feel, as If I'm a walking machine,
Watching it all through a screen
There is nothing in between to me
This might as well not be real"

And he cries: "Why can't I sing along with some feeling, or some meaning?
It feels like I've always been blind.
I don't know why you girls are so kind,
For there are so many in line
Whose lives aren't as lost as mine"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhkaTegZcQ0